Miguel Alvarez

REAL Divorce Talk hosts Jamie Shapiro and Lynn Waldman welcome special guest Clinical Psychologist Miguel Alvarez to discuss hot topics in divorce. Dr. Alvarez says the focus is to raise emotionally healthy children even when the family is under the stress of a separation or a divorce. The show airs on facebook.com/RealDivorceTalk at 1:00 p.m. on Tuesday, April 17th.

Psychological services are offered through Love & Alvarez Psychology. Opinions expressed are subject to change without notice and are not intended as legal advice. All information is believed to be from reliable sources; however, we make no representation as to its completeness or accuracy. Intended for educational purposes only and not intended as individualized advice or a guarantee that you will achieve a desired result.

LIC. NO: PSY 15506
QME NO: 944988

Emotions can run high during a divorce, but those unchecked emotions can impact children for the longterm in a variety of ways. Family Justice Advocates In Action advocates for a civil divorce. The nonprofit asked our divorce psychologist Miguel Alvarez what is the impact on children if their parents choose not to be be civil during a divorce. Dr. Alvarez explains that bad behavior by the parents can result in their children modeling their behavior when the children deal with conflict in their own lives. Developmental psychologist have demonstrated through numerous studies that children learn by imitating their parents. Children imitate both positive and negative behavior by their parents. Dr. Alvarez says negative examples can be detrimental to the child's development as well as lead to bad behavior.

https://www.facebook.com/FamilyJusticeAdvocatesInAction/
Psychological services are offered through Love & Alvarez Psychology. Opinions expressed are subject to change without notice and are not intended as legal advice. All information is believed to be from reliable sources; however, we make no representation as to its completeness or accuracy. Intended for educational purposes only and not intended as individualized advice or a guarantee that you will achieve a desired result.
LIC. NO: PSY 15506
QME NO: 944988

One of the most challenging first steps for parents to take after deciding that their marriage has ended is deciding how to tell their children about the split. For Family Justice Advocates in Action Divorce Psychologist, Miguel Alvarez discusses why it is important for parents to talk to each other before they have that important discussion with their children.

https://www.facebook.com/FamilyJusticeAdvocatesInAction/
Psychological services are offered through Love & Alvarez Psychology. Opinions expressed are subject to change without notice and are not intended as legal advice. All information is believed to be from reliable sources; however, we make no representation as to its completeness or accuracy. Intended for educational purposes only and not intended as individualized advice or a guarantee that you will achieve a desired result.
LIC. NO: PSY 15506
QME NO: 944988

Divorce Psychologist Dr. Lori Love discusses how co-parenting helps you put your kids first when your marriage is ending. Co-parenting can be difficult during divorce proceedings or mediation. Dr. Love spells out actions parents may be taking that unintentionally impact their children negatively and gives quick fixes to the negative behavior. She gives tips to help parents continue to communicate during emotional and stressful times. To make sure the kids are being put first, Dr. Love gives specific steps parents can take to to help children deal with the challenges that can accompany the separation of their family.

Psychological services are offered through Love & Alvarez Psychology. Opinions expressed are subject to change without notice and are not intended as legal advice. All information is believed to be from reliable sources; however, we make no representation as to its completeness or accuracy. Intended for educational purposes only and not intended as individualized advice or a guarantee that you will achieve a desired result.

CA LICENSE NO: PSY 15664 / HI LICENSE NO: PSY 1511

CA LICENSE NO: PSY 15664 / HI LICENSE NO: PSY 1511

If you decided that splitting up is the best option for your marriage, listen to these relationship-changing tips by divorce psychologist Dr. Lori Love. From understanding the emotional issues that can go along with divorce to putting communication tools in place to make the process easier for your family, Dr. Love has helpful guidance on how to create a healthy dynamic during divorce.

Psychological services are offered through Love & Alvarez Psychology. Opinions expressed are subject to change without notice and are not intended as legal advice. All information is believed to be from reliable sources; however, we make no representation as to its completeness or accuracy. Intended for educational purposes only and not intended as individualized advice or a guarantee that you will achieve a desired result.

Dr. Lori Love on ESPN Radio

Learn how to create a healthy family dynamic while you are going through a divorce. Listen to ESPN 1700 on Thursday, December 17th to hear Dr. Lori Love along with attorney  Carmen Ramos on Real Talk San Diego.

CA LICENSE NO: PSY 15664 / HI LICENSE NO: PSY 1511

Child Psychologist Dr. Lori Love appears on KFMB radio as an expert guest to give parents particle advice about how to help their children cope with the terror they see on TV. From terrorist attacks to school shootings there are things parents can do to help their children deal with the stress these events can cause and turn them into teachable moments. Click on the link below to hear about the specific steps you can take. https://youtu.be/TS1UjdoPz5Q

Helping Kids Cope with Terror
Helping Kids Cope with Terror

CA LICENSE NO: PSY 15664 / HI LICENSE NO: PSY 1511

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There is no such thing as "one size fits all" when it comes to the best way to celebrate the holidays in the midst of a separation or divorce. I get it, you feel like your hopes, dreams, and traditions have all gone up in smoke. You are a parent, but you are still a person who is likely to be going through their own grieving process. It is critical that you take care of yourself so that you can be emotionally available to your children. Many divorcing parents find comfort in a support group, therapy, or through journaling or yoga. Managing your own expectations is also critical in order to set a good role model for your children. So when it comes to making the decision as to when it is best to separate, before the holidays or after, what are you supposed to do?

Many couples consult my services each year around October in search of the answer to this question. These are the conscientious parents that want to seek professional advice prior to talking with their children about their upcoming separation. Frequently, one of the spouses has decided that they want to move on. The other spouse might agree upon the divorce but, they are openly or privately hoping that something will shift and a reconciliation will occur.

The couples most often ask me if they should stay together "for the sake of the children" through the holidays and wait to file for divorce in January. They often ask, "Is this a good idea?" My answer is usually, "That depends." Conflict is what causes problems for children, not divorce. If you and your spouse are capable of treating one another respectfully, not engaging in a cold war, and are emotionally capable of conducting business as usual, it may indeed be a nice idea to stay together until after the holidays. The problem that often arises is that the intentions of each parent are to conduct themselves with dignity, however, once the stress of the living situation, compounded by the stress of holidays is mixed with a little alcohol we create a recipe for conflict. The conflict is what then causes disruption for the children.

Another problem I usually address directly is that when couples stay together for the holidays it is usually the case that one spouse is ready to move things along and is further along in the process while the other is hoping for reconciliation. The spouse who is not as eager to separate is hoping that the nostalgia of the season, family holiday pictures and extended family gatherings will somehow persuade the leaving spouse to reconsider. Even if something like this occurs it is unlikely to be sustained. The spouse who feels left behind then has to go through the grieving process all over again when they find out that the leaving spouse truly was only present "for the sake of the children." I often see this causes greater pain and more resentment than before.

My answer is that staying together "for the sake of the children" is a lofty yet worthwhile goal that is certainly worth considering. I remind clients to consider that it requires both parents to love their children more than they hate one another.

Dr. Lori Love Love & Alvarez Psychology
Dr. Lori Love
Love & Alvarez Psychology

CA LICENSE NO: PSY 15664 / HI LICENSE NO: PSY 1511

Psychological services are offered through Love & Alvarez Psychology. Opinions expressed are subject to change without notice and are not intended as legal advice. All information is believed to be from reliable sources; however, we make no representation as to its completeness or accuracy. Intended for educational purposes only and not intended as individualized advice or a guarantee that you will achieve a desired result.